Back to the point . . . he takes a slap shot . . . no, wait, he completely misses and the puck goes the other way.  The other team is on a breakaway and they shoot and score.  As comical as this scenario appears to be, this actually occurred some 6 years ago or so to no other than the Dewhockey.com founder, Dewey D.  This story is about one man’s conquest from scrub to second line sub in the roller hockey world.

The career of Dewey began in West Berlin, NJ, on a puny outdoor rink.  He had never played hockey before, so this sport was something new to this wannabe.  Being a rookie to the game, this 10 year old had little coordination on the rink.  His skating, stick handling, and shooting abilities were so poor, calling them mediocre would be a compliment.  Three years of playing in this league appeared to not do much for Dewd besides giving him the urge to continue playing hockey elsewhere.  Now around the age of 13, Dewhockey moved on to the Echelon Skating Rink to try some indoor hockey.  His lack of success was similar to his first couple of seasons in West Berlin, but he still strived to become a better player.  As a result, this Dewey guy enrolled at the Coliseum roller hockey program, to not only play indoor roller hockey, but with better players and with a puck rather than a ball.

Adapting to the indoor game was already a challenge to Dewhockey, but using a puck baffled him.  In 11 games with the “Avalanche,” Dewey recorded a fluke goal and that’s about it.  Nobody knows how the puck went off of the stick of this jobber and into the net, but hey, it was just a part of his long, painful to watch career.  During the next roller hockey season, Dewey’s skills did not seem to improve, as the opening story for this article can sum up how well he played that season.

Finally, after another unsuccessful Coliseum roller hockey season, Dewey and most of the players from the Coliseum moved over to play leagues at the Flyers Skate Zone in Voorhees, NJ.  At this time, Dewmuck was approximately 16 years old.  Dewey was persistent at trying to become a better player, finally (he wanted to get better but didn’t listen to anyone’s advice and kept sucking as a result), and started to practice skating on the streets of his neighborhood during his free time in between going to high school, playing indoor roller hockey, and wanking.  After three more unsuccessful roller hockey seasons (bad teams and coaching), the world finally saw what kind of talent this young, future hockey website CEO had to offer.   Dewd netted multiple garbage goals (known as Dewgoals), and shown that he can make a “living” sitting in front of the net putting rebounds in or banking the puck off of goaltenders.

Now, at the age of 23, Dewey D plays outdoor roller hockey for the most part.  The game he plays is with a ball, not a puck, but is still competitive.  He is now a pretty good skater, with decent speed, and a slap shot that has a mind of its own, a mind that isn’t directed towards the opposition’s goal.  His defensive abilities are somewhat mediocre, and he sometimes reverts to his earlier playing days by not listening to his peers’ advice.  Overall, the world has seen a completely terrible roller hockey player turn into a decent one, who still has some flaws in his game.  However, we can classify this story as a success story, since Dewey believes he is a good player now.  Well folks, that is your Dewhockey.com CEO’s roller hockey playing life story.  Maybe next time you’ll get to find out about his failed attempt to play ice hockey.  Until next time, RCD out.